Nostalgia: Days, Years, Blades of Grass

On March 16, 2025March 16, 2025 By Ashley GatewoodIn Bread & Butter MorselsLeave a comment

Nostalgia is not my favorite past time. It slams into me sometimes, like a wake up call to get busy, get on with it, time is short and very few things in life are worth it. Everything our flesh desires is temporal and fades away. All the riches of this earth are never certain, things rot, burn, fade and disappear. For me, the ultimate essence of a life well-lived is how successfully we align ourselves to become vessels used by God for His purpose on this earth. The battle between my will and His will is no joke. But He is all that I am at the end of it all. Without Him I would surely pass away, my spirit could not handle remaining in this body if its Savior were to pull away. People can come and go, time can pass away, but if He leaves, I’ll leave with Him. Thank God He promises He will never leave us nor forsake us. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere God isn’t.

If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol (the nether world, the place of the dead), behold, You are there.

(Psalm 139.8)

What we misunderstand about the tapestry of life; some threads are woven in as accents to brighten an area of our life we couldn’t otherwise discern. Some threads start at the beginning and remain. Humans are strange and dangerous, here we are striving to birth a child savior in AI and we don’t have a clue what we’re dealing with. We’re lonely and aching for something or someone to belong to, yet out of pride we refuse our Maker and choose to make another in our own fallen image. It will be a catastrophe.

God Knows All Things

I remember several years ago, my father was still alive, it was 2022. I had found a decent amount of success after resigning from a corporate job that plagued my creative life, (as those 9-to-5’s always do), but my financial timeline wasn’t limitless. Through some meager successes I had added another year to the creative journey I’d embarked upon, but I was still nervous about it. And it was the height of covid B.S. and DEI insanity. I had caught on to the fact that for the most part, anyone white was being discriminated against, even if they were already established, much less if they were looking for a door of opportunity as a beginner. I was trying to break into the sci-fi publication corner. (There couldn’t have been a worse time to try.)

But on this morning in late Spring, I was floating in the strange sleep state of half awake, half asleep and a powerful vision unfolded before me. A golden sun hovered several hours above the horizon, the sky still blue but just below the glowing sphere emerged the pink and orange hues of twilight. I could feel His presence. Then I heard, as if audibly, a voice say,

‘The sun will not fall below your horizon.’

I awakened immediately, sitting up in my bed, in awe. Every part of my body felt it, that’s the best way I know how to describe it. I didn’t just hear the words, I felt them. I knew everything was going to work out and a sense of peace was tangibly present. It was the Holy Spirit because faith was also immediately available.

But like everything in life, especially as one gets older, there is no win without some other aspect of our lives being tempered. As blades of grass, my father passed away within a few months, hurricanes demolished the coast of Florida, and people can hate you not because of you, but because of envy, or lack of control over you, or just because they choose to be hateful. The massive amount of complications life can throw at us is sometimes unbearable to contemplate. The treasures of this world never last.

Covid Era Polarization

The years between 2020 and 2024 were nothing short of a preemptive horror show. I’ve said it before but I felt like one of the bizarre psychics in the conscious mind-pool of the movie Minority Report. I could see what was coming, the beast slithering its tentacles into the infrastructure of mankind and wrestling us to the ground, bound and shackled. I think what could be the most difficult part about the beast is that it perhaps won’t be a figure, a person or a point on a map with a location. It’s going to be an infrastructure, a thought pattern that becomes the final snare for mankind. I can barely think of it without having to break the vision. It’s too overwhelming.

For me, the only way to face something like this is through prayer. And not the daily prayer that keeps us in communion with God. A deeper, dedicated prayer life, one as a monk perhaps would have. There’s no other way to prepare the vessel for use by the Holy Spirit than to dedicate the whole self to Him. And I’m in a position to do that. I’d have to let go of a lot of things. Trust in God would be paramount.

A Strangely Mapped Landscape

People are difficult. I’m difficult. I’ve found the post-covid era demarkation lines to be quite brutal. I never knew just how liberal the majority of my friend base was. It didn’t matter because it wasn’t seen, and what isn’t seen can’t be mapped or known. Now with social media, things are getting mapped quickly and with great definition.

With a few of my friends, we hardly have anything to talk about outside of events and other people’s lives. And since I generally don’t get into these things, I don’t have anything to talk about with them anymore. It was the art scene that was the main draw, people love to associate with artists. (Just not conservative, God-fearing, anti-woke/esg/dei artists, I’ve come to understand.) These are friends I’ve had in my life for decades. But if they aren’t excited and curious and living for God, what do we have in common? The Lord is gently closing doors, and I must remember what I know about the tapestry…

Art Has Become A Conundrum For Me

It was my art. I realize that now. There are no better supporters of art than liberal minded people. And I had far less worldview problems pre-covid. Or maybe it was pre-Trump era. And though we all have much love for each other, the underlying hate and rage for anything Christian, Conservative and/or anti-woke was too much of a gap to bridge. You can feel it simmering under the surface, your friend loves you but loathes something about you too – even they are struggling to understand it. And God forbid anyone brings up the subject of politics while out to lunch. I’ve learned to not keep my mouth shut, whereas before I would have tolerated disrespect against my values and worldview, no more.

I once had a friend say to my face, after telling them how I was going to vote, ‘Yeah no, I can’t respect anyone who votes like that.’

Wow….and now they wonder why they don’t see me much anymore.

I’m Not Sure If Art Is Worth It, Nor Politics

On social media, I still find myself restraining my tongue. For various reasons, mainly on FB because this is where my friends and family are and my community. Why disrupt things? Then they just attack whatever I’ve posted. People follow me for my art. And the minute I express my views on political matters, my posts are ignored, or attacked or they stop supporting my art. And I totally get it, I do the same. This has got to be one of the most hostile environments we’ve had throughout all of history. Was the scare of ‘Communists among us’ back in the 1940’s-50s ever this bad? Maybe, but since I wasn’t alive then, it seems pretty damn bad now.

Almost once a month I’m seeing a post from someone who has lost a near lifelong friend over religion or politics. I love to see stories when Christians come together, crossing denominational lines and acting as one Body of Christ – as we should be acting! This is why any church that claims they are the only one going to heaven draws my fierce indignation.

Let Go Of Offense

There is a huge shift coming, I can feel it and have known it for years. The old movement of God is passing into the history books. I was on the end of that movement and believe me, when you move on and away from them, they will despise you. Offense is one of the worst sins one can commit against the self. If you find yourself despising someone outwardly, check that you aren’t inwardly offended. I always bear in mind what happens to those who remain in offense:

Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things which you hear and see: the blind see and the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear; the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.”

(Matthew 11.4-6)

And the result of John’s offense towards Jesus was nothing short of deadly:

The king was distressed, but because of his oaths and his dinner guests, he ordered that her request be granted and had John beheaded in the prison. His head was brought in on a platter and given to the girl, who carried it to her mother.

(Matthew 14.9-11)

Jesus, upon hearing this immediately withdrew from the crowds to be alone. It shook Him deeply what had happened to John. It could have been averted, but John could not get past Jesus leaving him in prison, thinking surely He would have come to his rescue if He was the true Messiah. What a terrible thing to succumb to. “If you loved me you would have…..”

Stay out of offense, sweet people of God. It will behead your life and cease any forward movement in God. It’s not worth it, no one is worth that.

Pastors Need To Learn To Let People Go When God Calls Them Away: Pastors are Shepherds, Not Dictators, Not Wardens

It took me awhile to sort out what was happening, why some people were so against me for refusing to promote their sacredly held beliefs. Once you have a revelation about a previously accepted view and God shows you the error in it, you can’t ‘play church’ anymore. One must move on where the Spirit is beckoning. When God moves, you move with Him and those stuck in their own idea of what God is get left behind, grabbing at your coattails and calling you the bad one….let them be. Pray for them that they don’t drown in their offense, but don’t let God out of your sight.

They couldn’t learn from their mistakes and so they are being shut down. Not losing their salvation as individuals, but losing the Spirit of God and their compass. Whenever the old passes away, behold the new is arriving! Indeed, it’s already here. Now this is exciting to me:) Very little interests me outside of God. And it will be through prayer that fortitude and endurance is established over our lives. I still feel good about these coming four years of change. If I can get my act together, perhaps whenever the darkness comes up from the sea again, I’ll be prepared next time to rise from my dwelling and unsheath my sword.

It’s good to be prepared, in season and out of season, for the work of God.

Social Media is Getting Old, Or God is Trying to Tell Me Something

So this brings me back around to social media in general and the art of managing time. The absolutely useless arguments that we can get wrapped up in. I’m losing patience, especially with myself. Some discussions are interesting and worthwhile. Others are just time-drains. Now that things are looking a bit brighter out there, this might be the perfect time to draw nearer to God in an even deeper way. I will not allow myself to be caught unaware with only a half-filled oil lamp.

I feel as though whatever books I want to write, whatever paintings I may paint, they are hidden in Him. And unless I seek Him, I won’t find what I’m looking for. What sense is it for me to write a book? I’m not that interesting or good. But the book that is in Him, that’s the book I seek to write. I can feel it. And there is no chance I will find it or write it without first pressing into Him. This will take prayer, fasting and reading His word.

Not just for a few minutes a day. I believe this is going to be my career, if you will, for the next several months if not years. I just have to overcome my whole self. Simple enough, right?

I’m angry. I just hope I can turn it into a fervor that cannot stop me from drawing closer to God. Satan will do anything to keep us from entering into the presence of the Almighty. Because the devil knows, when we get our motives out of the way, God’s power through us to change and heal the world for good will be limitless. The sun will not set on us, my brothers and sisters. We have a great work to do in this earth still.

The Days are Coming

God will have His way in the earth. And it will be executed through a consecrated Body of Christ, His people. But the tempering must occur first, the price must be paid in prayer and fasting. And if you think this is an easily accessible goal, try to live even for a few weeks in a fasted, prayerful state. You’ll have so many doors of opportunity open to you that you won’t know which to open first. People knocking, events beckoning, distractions glaring…..

because……the devil knows us….he knows us all too well.

It’s difficult when we don’t just have an enemy in the devil, but we also have our own flesh to contend with and crucify daily. Time is tangible and adds up, it’s fleeting and adds insult to injury. We are third dimensional creatures with many things ticking outside and inside against us. If anyone thinks they can do it alone, they are sorely mistaken. God is our only hope, the Body of Christ our community of faithful believers. He will bring to us everything and everyone we need to make this life a beautiful consecration to Him, one that counts, one that lays up treasures in heaven where nothing and no one can destroy it, and that changes the world systems bringing heaven to earth; His government rests on our shoulders, the Body of Christ. Or didn’t you know that wherever you go, you present in the spiritual realm as an Ambassador of God’s Kingdom? His Body is going to shift worldly systems and bring salvation to billions of lost people.

This is what I’m aiming for, and a time of preparation will be necessary to fulfill it.

Featured Image by Mayur Deshpande

Cities and Stuff

On June 17, 2024June 17, 2024 By Ashley GatewoodIn Bread & Butter MorselsLeave a comment

Boston

I recently returned from a trip to Boston. I love big cities. They are always awake and always open for business. I also like the way of living far more than small town – each has its advantages I suppose – one offering a slower pace to life and one engaging and always beckoning attention and involvement.

I never clocked less than 10K steps a day while in Boston, and that’s without any extra dedicated time. In small towns, there’s no great possibility of walking or biking. Stores and destinations are just too far apart. In many instances, biking and driving took the same amount of time in Boston. Even in small ‘cities’ like Lexington, there is no decent public transportation that runs frequently enough without wasting an hour and a half waiting at bus terminals. A fifteen minute car drive is the only alternative.

_{We’re walking through the MIT tunnels to catch the rail to a 5K, not mine, just to be clear.}

I was talking with a friend up there who stated it quite perfectly. He said that there’s an energy you can feel when walking the city. You always have other people bustling about, things are happening like deliveries, events, shows, students, other runners or cyclists on the city streets with you no matter the time of day. But to walk to a friends house in a suburb of a small town, all the houses shut up, curtains drawn, lawns are the same, row after row – it’s just an excruciatingly boring walk.

It’s true!

I do my best to walk daily – which I have to make time and drive to the park. But I have to work much harder to get 10K steps whereas the city seems to provide ample opportunity for healthy living without even trying.

Anyway, I guess I want too much just in general. Maybe we all do. We want everything that is good about all we’ve experienced combined for a perfect life. It’s just not going to happen.

I daydream about living in a big city. Who daydreams about something so mundane? Maybe I’m seeing a vision, this happens to me sometimes. Will have to pay more attention to these daydreams.

Motivators

I have to consider why something is being done, why I’m taking a particular action. Shouldn’t we all consider why we are doing certain things in our life? Jesus said to lay up treasures for ourselves in Heaven because the treasures of this world rot and disintegrate and pass away. Entropy. Even ideas that seem to propagate suffer deterioration if they aren’t of any eternal value.

I’ve noticed how much the wrong ideas about God propagate on social media. People who are Christians saying that what makes a shepherd inadequate is not preaching the goodness of a particular political party to their congregations. In other words, not using a position given by God to push your own political agenda is unacceptable as a Christian Pastor. Like, what kind of Hell-talk is this? Who is embodying the essence of the great Accuser of the Brethren here?

How is it that Christian influencers are falling into this treacherous language against Christ?

And then, as if just speaking it isn’t treacherous enough, we have loads of ‘avatars’ liking the post, not because they are Christians necessarily, but because their agenda lines up with the poster’s comment.

These Christians influencers will be held accountable.

Anything we say – especially if we have followers on a massive level – will be solely our responsibility come the Judgement. ‘But someone else taught me that!’ This argument, my friend, will hold no water with God almighty. He has already warned us, ‘My people perish for lack of knowledge.’ This is why I am so adamant, esp with those God has laid on my heart, in correcting when someone is going down the wrong path. I care for them AND I care for all those children of God they are leading astray. I say children because they may be the few who are exempt, though still they will perish at the hands of ill-informed leaders, if they are never correct and taught proper biblical truth.

This is why leaders will be judged with far more weight than the children they are leading and influencing.

Hence this warning given: ‘Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.’

Now we just as easily can put ‘influencers’ in place of teachers. Same thing, same process of passing along the wrong information about God in this example. Do I know everything? Of course not! Which is why I’m grateful (though maybe at first quite irritated) when I get corrected. Correction, admonishment, saves our lives!

Now that alone keeps me from stepping out as much as I might be, it’s a grave thing to have great influence and be dead wrong about something so grave as life and death of a person’s soul and body. That’s my issue I must overcome.

The Wicked Won’t Win, Even Though Now They Appear To Prosper

The wicked shall not prosper. There’s a verse that admonishes, ‘do not envy the prosperity of the wicked.’ And it’s easy to do that. This life on earth has many interesting and pleasurable things we could use our vessels to indulge in, yet this assuredly brings death. God knows the human’s psychological makeup better than anyone or anything. Even Satan understands human psychology better than humans do, duh..

Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37.1-3

Everywhere I look anti-Christ organizations, corpse-porations and blasphemous God-haters seem to garner praise, financial gain and worldly clout. But like, who wants that kind of ROI?

Death of self would be our aim today, in this world of indulgent pleasures, including dopamine kicks-and-giggles that social media tends to deliver to our starving central nervous receptors. Sometimes I wonder if Christians aren’t saying these ridiculous things because they believe the more social media likes and praise they garner means somehow they are doing the right thing and are approved of God.

My God, people! This is such a trap. All of this misdirection must burn away. Self-centered ambitions must burn away. I know, far easier said than done – and I don’t have thousands of followers…God help me if I ever do. I might run away, which would result in zero benefit to anyone.

And there are always whales at-the-ready for servants of God who run….fantastic…

It’s a problem of space and time for me, I think. It’s a problem of losing. Losing things. And I hate losing things. I hate losing time and options. I need an eternal view, not a here-and-now view. Many who are smarter than I, keep correcting my thought on this: I must narrow my path which sacrifices all other paths I could walk and proceed with all focus in one direction. This is excruciating for me even though I know that to do otherwise just keeps the wheels spinning unproductively.

Everyday Witnesses Through Their Gifts

The Lord has been bringing unique individuals to my attention. People I would never find in the circle of interests I have, and these people are full-on dedicated to the work of God’s kingdom here on the earth. They aren’t formally in the ministry at all, they are chefs, or skateboarders, or comedians – all manner of professions but they never miss a beat to talk about God during an interview about their chosen profession or craft. It’s a beautiful thing to see.

And quite frankly, they speak with much more profound depth and authority about God than those who are in positions of prestige or power within the church (noun, place) today. I became disillusioned about the structure of church organizations and institutions since the mid-2000s.

_{Indeed, we all wrestle with God at some point.}

God always calls the Gideon, or the David, or the Esther when they are known by few and obscure. I think this is amazing and I love to watch it unfold in a life; how the seemingly smallest is made the greatest among us, not by their own hand of power, but by offering all their strengths to God to use for His glory.

This kind of wrestling is among the most difficult because it is our weaknesses, the self, the ego, the intellect like Leviathans pushing forward within us for control when, perhaps one might say, the hero overcomes them to submit his or her vessel with all its inadequacies to the will of God, as Jesus did. It’s nothing short of miraculous. Indeed, without the Spirit of God, we could not possibly do it. Faith is a powerful thing when it’s witnessed working through an individuals life.

I’m seeing this more and more, in the most far away corners of the world; God’s people lighting up and flashing a signal, as it were, that God is ever present and available to save and guide into a more abundant and rewarding life. That is, if we can pay the price. There’s always a sacrifice.

God’s Refinery

God’s fire is all consuming. And whatever is not of Him burns off of our lives. God help those of us who have built much in this world but little in the kingdom of God. It’s no fun to walk through the fire, but in the end we are certainly better for it. The continual regeneration of life is an unmistakeable attribute of God. Without Him, there is no life-force. I can’t take this train of thought too far here, it’s one blog post, but it ties in with so many other aspects of the human-Christ-eternal dynamic.

_{MIT tunnel graffiti, hallway art.}

If anyone abides not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.
John 15.6

The above scripture is exactly how it is. But there are other scriptures which indicate that what isn’t burned up, remains.

Paul says that if our work is burned up, we will suffer loss – there’s my loss hang-up – though we will be saved, but only as through fire. So I would even go as far as saying if anyone doesn’t subject themselves to the fire to burn away what should not be there, then they themselves cannot be saved. Either we chose it voluntarily and in doing so we pass through it, or we succumb to it involuntarily and lose our lives as well.

Peter tells us that everything that makes up the universe will burn and be destroyed and that heaven will pass away. This informs the reader that everyone will pass through that fire; but some things aren’t burned up but remain, continue, live on. And in the case of Christ, that living is eternal.

And again, Paul states that there is coming a great shaking and everything that can be shaken will be. But what is of God and eternal will remain. So this ‘passing through’ is a phenomenon we all must subject ourselves to, I think it’s voluntary, first. But if we don’t do this, run from it or deny God, the fire still must be passed through and we will also lose ourselves, our inhabited vessels even to the flames.

Now let’s think about our lives and how much will be consumed by the fire, how much we’ve done for our own self-centered ambitions and striving to impress other humans in this world. That’s a difficult thought experiment. But let us importantly remind ourselves of this, we are saved not by our own hand but by Christ.

This is so because we are in Him, we abide in Him and guess what? He had no evil in Him so that when He passed through the flames of Hell taking the keys of death Hell and the grave from that pesky Cherub, everything who was Christ rose again. In other words, His body also, being transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit. Nothing could hold Him, not even the death which was appointed to all of us to suffer, once. So indeed God’s words were true, Jesus suffered death, once as appointed to every man. But again,

But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him.
Acts 2.24

And again, this is one portion of our promise, having been adopted by Him as His own children, a prophecy that is the Spirit of Christ, we shall inherit life eternal:

…because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay.
Psalm 16.10

The grave couldn’t hold Him, nor will it hold us, dear brothers and sisters.

Okay, I can’t help but think how long it took me to write this one post. How does one measure time wasted or time spent productively?

Have a beautiful week, all you curious people. Or if you’re feeling adventurous; have a curious week, all you beautiful people~

Featured Image: Snapshot of more MIT graffiti, taken by yours truly~

Unconventional Thinking and Following Your Call In Life

On July 26, 2020February 13, 2021 By Ashley GatewoodIn How to Follow Your Dream, Unconventional ThinkingLeave a comment

Being unconventional can get you into a load of trouble with humans. It can also be a powerful tool in a boring, (even dangerous) lemming-like society.

I’ve never been one for following the crowd, and as long as I am quiet everything is fine. But I’m usually not quiet. And when you begin blazing a trail in the opposite direction, and those conventional humans start seeing it, (even seeing you doing well at it) you’ll receive plenty of flack.

Many people choose to follow the mainstream because their parents and grandparents did. If it worked for them and they are happy, then they made the right decision… for their life!

I. Never. Wanted. That.

The problem is, I see people resigning their lives to the pressure of the mainstream. That’s different than making a decision to do so. Mainstream is intolerant of unconventional ideas and ways of thinking.

Seventy-five years ago in 1945, getting married, having children, holding down a good with a pension, (or if you were a woman, keeping house and husband and kids at the expense of your own desires), was all the rage. It’s what a contemporary American family looked like. No more. And I like to challenge people and why they believe the way they do and why they’ve made the choices they’ve made – oh boy! That’s a crowd pleaser, let me tell you!

But I do care. I care that people 1. Get out of this way of thinking if they want to, but if not 2. Don’t impose this way of thinking on others, which decreases one’s value as an individual person and limits people’s potential.

It is a difficult balance to keep: not caring what people think about me and yet, showing people that I care for them. Fortunately, I did a pretty good job of staying out of the clutches of traditional, conventional living.

Alas, but not quite.

Here I find myself – again – in a daily corporate grind. It is an unhappy place for me. Think about this: eight hours of the best part of the day spent making someone else lots of money. Pushing papers. Calculating totals, Excel spreadsheets, emails, phone calls….working for a paycheck is not freedom. Just try to leave at 2 in the afternoon and go enjoy a hike for the rest of the day without telling anyone. Just try sleeping in until 8am, then instead of getting in your car and rushing to work because your late, you head to the park, or shopping or anything – you’ll be getting a phone call. Or your ears boxed tomorrow.

Or maybe even a pink slip.

Oh, you can do whatever you like, but there’ll be consequences for it.

Lack of freedom is anyone or anything capable of dictating to you how your time is to be spent without you having a choice to agree to it or power to refuse it.

Work is important. Very important. But so is satisfaction and especially what you are called to do in this short life you’ve been given. God’s Calling over your life isn’t to be taken lightly. It’s serious business..

The Calling is a pull – a steady desire of your heart that you want to fulfill or that you feel drawn towards. It could be broad or specific but it will not let you go. The sad thing is, many people let the Calling go because they see no other way to get out of societal judgment, the corporate grind, the conventional machine, the daily slog of humanity to make a living.

Forget. That.

I found my way out once with God’s help. I’ll find my way out again.

Let me also say here, that sometimes there are silent, unnoticed seasons God will take us through to prepare us for the Calling over our lives. We’ll talk more about this later, but the Bible does say, ‘despise not small beginnings’. The critical issue is not giving up your dreams because you see no way out. Determine in your heart that giving up is not an option for you! God will show you how to overcome the situations you encounter so you can move into the blessings He has for you.

The problem can sometimes be people, especially when they don’t think like you. Most people find unconventional thinkers an affront to their carefully indoctrinated, socially-accepted lives. But when these people are our friends, family or mentors, we’ll listen to them, be made to feel guilty by them, have our value decreased or be made to feel foolish or selfish and before we know it, bam!, right back into the slog we go…

After all, who are you to have something different and better? Or maybe they don’t understand that their ‘happy’ is not your ‘happy’? Or perhaps they had to give up their dreams to fit in, and their hope of a better happier life in order to be socially accepted — so you should too! Because what does that say about them if you get out and blaze a better trail when they did not? You should suffer the same way they still suffer…

No. Way.

I just cannot accept less than what my heart is longing for – it’s what God put there to begin with and I must find it. Is your heart burning for something more powerful that will impact people’s lives in a great and meaningful way? Don’t forsake that desire in your heart. It’s probably your Calling.

Time. Oh Lord help me. I am starved for time. My energy is taken from me during the 8-5 workday, performing for something other than what my heart desires.

When I was in my 20s and 30s I had time and plenty of left over energy! Not so much anymore. Listen, isn’t your time more valuable than sitting behind a desk helping no one in any meaningful way? Time affords us the ability to think, invent, write, encounter, discover all kinds of things which in turn, brings the world around us to a better place. Try doing all that behind a desk, pushing papers and trying to figure out which cell has the wrong formula in that God forsaken Excel spreadsheet…there are only so many hours in a day, and even less productive hours…

Remember, what ever it is you’re working to obtain is also what you are exchanging your life for.

Think about this: how many years of your life did you exchange for that car you are driving? How about the phone your holding in your hand right now?

If you made $50,000 last year and your car cost you $50,000, well then, every hour of every day you worked for a solid year was exchanged for that car. It doesn’t matter how many months you spread the payment over.

It seems unfair, but it isn’t – some people can work one month, earning fifty-thousand dollars and exchange one month of their life for a car. It’s just how the world works down here.

The choice then, that we all have is this, “what can I do to make my life more satisfying and rewarding right where I am?”

Trust me, you don’t need to be rich to be satisfied and live a fulfilling and rewarding life. Listen to King Solomon when he said that much wisdom can bring much sadness. Money can also bring its own oppression.

Because money isn’t the answer. Freedom is the answer.

We also must face the truth that in many ways, money is freedom. Or it can at least buy you financial freedom to pursue what you want. But many get slogged down and miss the beat. Money can work for you or against you. And you don’t need money to find your Call or work in a field that is fulfilling and satisfies you personally. Understand that money is only a tool and half the battle is won.

Hold on tight. We’re going to get into a lot of unconventional thinking in the next several weeks/months that encompasses more than just work and the daily grind. Is your work fulfilling and satisfying and at the end of the day helping others and pushing the envelope to make this world a better place? Then thank God for that! We will all benefit from your valuable time being spent doing something awesome for the world. But let’s not stop there because God has so much more for us! And when we are done, we may just find ourselves a little more free and a little closer to living in the Call of God that is over our lives. Until next time…

Be well, be free~

Feature Photo by Dino Reichmuth on Unsplash

The Tapestry of Life

On December 31, 2017February 13, 2021 By Ashley GatewoodIn Love:: Lifestyle:: HealthLeave a comment

Here we are at the cusp of another year ending and a new one beginning. Even though it’s a day just like any other, there is something more poignant about observing the calendar change from one year to the next.

It’s a time when many begin to reflect on the previous year and try to summarize its overall theme. If only life could be like that – where we could take certain times and seasons and leave others behind. But our lives are cumulative where each experience, every emotion and every circumstance adds to our life and our character. Sometimes life doesn’t always imbue a celebratory reaction from us, especially when we’ve suffered loss, setbacks, depression or other difficult circumstances.

In a way, our lives are like tapestries where everything and everyone we experience are woven into the fabric and as time passes, the colors change and the work of art expands and begins to show the intricacies of God’s hand in our lives. People are woven in that continue in the tapestry for the whole of our lives. Others are woven in only for a few seasons, and then their thread ends. Sometimes when we go through the rough patches in life, we can’t see the whole picture, we don’t fully understand how it could be of any use to us at all to lose things, to hurt, or to experience difficulties.

And really, God has given us every means of getting through this life while keeping joy, peace and love close to us, surrounding us and keeping us through all the darker hours of our life. But I will be the first to admit, this is difficult in and of itself. I have at certain times in my life clung tightly to joy so as not to drown in sorrow; but alas, I drowned anyway.

But isn’t this life? Isn’t life a choice? If so, then we need to choose life. God never said we wouldn’t have to endure suffering; but he doesn’t at anytime say depression, darkness and fear are things we have to live with. No. That is the Good News of the word of God, that we do not have to fall prey to these things. We will have to work through them, but the promise is that love, joy and peace can be had throughout our suffering. The promise is that Jesus has made the way for each of us to commune with God having paid that price for us. And with God, all things are possible, this instills hope, which in turn increases joy. And suffering won’t last. To everything there is a season, as Solomon said, so just know that your season of happiness and peace and freedom are coming.

If it’s one thing that should be remembered, it is that we should never feel guilty about our emotions and how we work through them. It is never acceptable to hurt others because we cannot control our own emotions. But don’t feel guilty if you are in a place of mourning, or sadness or regrouping and getting your life back on track and it’s taking you longer than you thought. Your true friends will always be there to encourage and help. (But if anyone is hurting you because of their inability to take responsibility for themselves and their own emotions, then think long and hard about why you are allowing this person to stay in your life.) Sometimes moving forward and making positive changes means walking away from someone who is hurtful to you.

Trials make us stronger. They dig into the deepest part of our soul and challenge us to rise up and overcome. Don’t get down on yourself if you are unable to rise immediately to the task. We have all fought many battles that have taken multiple attempts to first understand, then overcome. Sometimes the hardest part is first realizing our situation and circumstance, then finding the courage to take action and do the right thing.

Life is about people – but don’t forget you are a ‘people’ as well. Don’t forget to look after you. After all, if we don’t know how to love ourselves, how can we effectively love anyone else? If we don’t know how to overcome self-doubt, fear, loneliness, hardship and suffering, how can we help others do the same? These are the lessons, it seems, that are the most colorful in that tapestry of life we were talking about earlier. They are the hardest to work through and overcome but the pigments are the brightest and most elaborate because they are the fabric of our existence.

Let me say that once more: The harder lessons are the pigments that shine the brightest and are most elaborate because they are the fabric of our existence – because we have that choice remember? Choose life so that others can see what you’ve overcome and take courage to do the same in their own difficult circumstances.

These are the stories that resonate most with others, pulls them up out of the pits they’re stuck in, shines the light into the world’s darkness so that others can find their way out of a tough time. Don’t ever think that the hardships that befall you are for your demise. No, instead they are for your victory that you might rejoice in God and others also may see you and gain triumph over their circumstances as well.

Looking into 2018, let’s not make resolutions. Instead let’s make peace. Peace with ourselves, with others and with life’s twists and turns. Let’s decide that no hardships or troubles are going to be the end of the story for us – but instead let’s trust that God will work those times into our tapestry of life so that they shine brightest that others may follow. We have a choice, as hard as it can be to rise up over difficult circumstances, we have a choice to be joyful or let it depress us. Let’s choose to be at peace with ourselves and others, forgiving and moving forward with love in our hearts. Let’s forgive ourselves for not living up to our own standards or others, and let’s take courage to not live blindly and comfortably but instead to branch out into the unknown, fully trusting God has us in his very capable hands.

Let’s dare to be great.

Happy New Year to you all~

If you have questions or need direction on how to begin to make a change, don’t hesitate to contact me. Leave a comment or email me – you can also reach out on social media like Linked In.

Love will get you to where you need to be~