To love oneself isn’t a bad thing. It is loving yourself according to 1 Corinthians 13. This is not the kind of love the world has when they make loving the SELF central to all existence.
I’m not referring to that. The SELF is not the center. JESUS is the center, Jesus said, “Love your neighbor AS YOURSELF.” So if loving yourself doesn’t matter, then we won’t have much love for others. Right?
I mean, if you hate yourself or can’t forgive yourself or are angry at yourself or impatient with yourself, then you will also be these things to your neighbor and anyone else in your life, even your friends and family.
How can you love others without first loving you? We should love ourselves according to 1 Corinthians 13 – this is biblical. This kind of love is only possible through Christ by asking Him to help us understand this level of love, free of the human condition. This is attainable by the power of the Holy Spirit and keeping as close to God as we can,
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
This level of love is attainable, but only with the help of the Holy Spirit. I pray we all gain a deeper understanding of this kind of love that never fails..
Back in 2009, I decided to sell/donate/trash most everything I owned and move to a remote island for two years to teach Marshallese children on the Island of Ebeye.
I was talking to a client at work and telling them I was leaving and that their account would be in good hands. Chuck was an entrepreneur who made great money and travelled everywhere his heart took him. He was free, satisfied with life and fulfilled.
After telling him of my plans to pretty much insert an intermission in my conventional 9-5 work day and slam the door good-bye on it, I remember Chuck saying, “Wow, now that’s really living right there. You know? You’ll really be living…”
I’ll never forget that – it took me by surprise but he was right. Fear had kept me strapped to a job making money for someone else that I didn’t enjoy doing in the first place. There was no reward, no sense of satisfaction or fulfillment for me.
Just money to pay the bills, steady income to stay independent and ugh! The boredom of it all!
For some people, this is a perfectly fulfilling life and they don’t want anything crazy or out of the ordinary. That’s great and I wish I was more like that sometimes – it isn’t easy never being satisfied with a life that’s so readily available. Why do I have to pine away for adventure, new experiences and something beyond the normal day to day routine of work– eat-sleep- do it all over again? Why do I feel this way about it?
Writing helps – painting helps – of course traveling eases the tension within my soul but it’s just not enough – I still feel fettered by this thing called ‘work’. I find no sense of freedom in it because it isn’t satisfying for me.
So many people break out of it and become entrepreneurs – how is it I can’t manage this? I think I get comfortable with the ‘easy’ and I fear losing out and having to start again. Which is odd because I’ve already done that once and I’m more blessed now than before my little island intermission.
I’m kind of using this blog to hone in on what exactly I’m desiring and how I’m going to attain it – changing your life around takes time and a lot of planning. Instead of journalling I’ll blog it because maybe I can help somebody somewhere out there who feels the same way I do. And that will make me happy – because that’s what I enjoy doing!
I love the satisfaction of work in general- it’s fulfilling….when I’m being creative and/or helping others I find satisfaction in that. Not so much anything else. The rest of it is total monotony. Pushing papers that helps no one, fighting computer glitches, printer malfunctions, slaving through the day so that I can…..turn around and do it all again tomorrow. I’ve helped no one better themselves, I’ve encouraged no one, I’ve created absolutely nothing and so it’s just dead to me.
If I can offer any inspiration, don’t give up on your dream, keep it in your sight. When you give up, you lose. Better to try and go for it and lose – at least you’ll learn something in the process and be ready to go for it again having learned from any mistakes and being stronger the second time around.
I just think life is too precious and the people that are in need are too vast to just sit behind a desk pushing papers. I need to make a contribution for the kingdom of God. God’s got a plan – I’m just going to have to be diligent in searching, patient in waiting and remain faithful right where I am until it comes to fruition and God (or is it me?) is ready to move~
