I have created a Novel Research Pinterest page for the science fiction novel I’m writing. This is a simple compilation of my thought process, research and scientific data consulted over the past several months.
It’s nothing fancy, I’m simply including links to articles or videos so that if anyone is interested in the direction and themes I’m exploring in this book, they can find them here.
I’ll be updating when I have the time, and dropping some excerpts over the next several weeks also. Hope everyone is enjoying the Summer weather. I feel I’m melting here on the eastern side of the u.s:)
It’s fascinating the things I find myself peering into when writing this Science Fiction Ghost Story. I am relaxing into the process now that I am seeing the fruit of my labors. Writing a novel which entails deep space exploration has been a challenging and enlightening endeavor. Writing a novel is the process of turning chaos into prose – nearly impossible really. But I’ve decided to relax and enjoy the things I love while I write. One of which is space.
This planet scientists call ‘Poltergeist’. It’s a super creepy Pulsar planet documented PSR B1257+12 c, and is an extrasolar planet approximately 2,300 light-years away”….
Other wonderful mysteries of deep space are lurking within the coffers of the web. If I’m going to traverse the galaxy, I figure I better understand our own Local Group first. Vast and various are the Lord’s magnificent displays…
NASA’s Cassini spacecraft has captured Saturn’s rings backlit by the sun and our planet Earth and its moon in the same frame. We look like another star from 898 million miles away.
Take a look at our vast Milky Way and beyond to our closest neighboring galaxy, Andromeda. Let’s take a weekend trip, what do ya say? Pack a light picnic; the particle accelerating spacecraft is outback…
I have nearly completed the second draft which fleshed out the story and characters bringing the theme into greater form. My third writing will be adding the voice and writing the novel. I’m excited!
Hope everyone is enjoying Spring. When my mind and pen are not among the stars, I am enjoying the green grass and bird songs of the season…
Have a beautiful week lovely people, and don’t forget to look up and admire the great expanse above our heads~
The unpardonable sin is impossible for a believer to commit. Here’s why; the Pharisees knew and admitted that no other but God could be performing all the miracles that Jesus was performing. We know this because Nicodemus, a devout Pharisee official said so, “Rabbi,we all know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him.” (John 3:1-2) He was like a spy that ratted out the enemy’s war room talks.
Further more, the Pharisees hated Jesus because they were losing ‘followers’ to Him which meant less money for them and less power over the people. (There are a ton of these like-spirited people around, the first found in Cain.) Envy, hatred and jealousy drove their motives.
So, in the hearing of the people (hoping to turn some back to themselves) they proclaimed: “It is only by Beelzebul,the prince of demons, that this fellow drives out demons…” Matthew 12.24.
The unpardonable sin was this: they knew it was the Holy Spirit who was doing the work through Christ and spoke directly against God. Forthrightly calling the Holy Spirit to His clearly discernible face that He was the devil.
As believers (and unbelievers, because they are ignorant, so even if they did this they would not understand Who they were doing it to – “forgive them Father for they know not what they do”) this sin is impossible to commit.
Only knowingly, deeply malevolent individuals are capable of committing the unpardonable sin.
1. Those involved in NFT acquisition will be left holding the short end of the straw in 5-10 years when something goes wrong with the value of the technology and/or the exaggerated hype of the movement striving – but not attaining – relevance as a historical and genuine art movement.
2. Everyone else will be left shaking their heads and wondering how? when those who bought NFT’s make bank and the artists make history.
It’s all to incorporeal to me; I like art to be tactile. I like most things to be rooted in a reality I can experience manifest, in the good ‘ole third dimension. NFT art is like cooking on T.V. that you can’t smell.
But, if we look to the far off future, isn’t the reality that we know all moving into the Metaverse? I truly hope to not be here when that happens. But as the generations move forward, they will certainly not want to be on Earth, but in the digital world. And maybe NFT art will hang on the walls of their digital NFT homes.
So NFT Art Collections may not be legitimate contenders for art history until some one-hundred years have past.
Isn’t that the way art appreciation goes? And who will need a physical art work when we’re all plugged into the Metaverse having attained Singularity?
This site has been a blogging diary more than anything. After much thought, I’ve decided that in order to get anywhere, I need to focus on one thing. Writing the book. I’ve got just over a year to do it.
I’ve missed blogging these past several months. Due to art and writing submissions to publishers and galleries, I changed my blog to resemble a website for less clutter and easier navigation.
Reorganizing the Blog
I have organized this blog by categories at the bottom of the Home/About page. There is no longer a Home page with the most current blog post. Some I have removed and made private to keep things cohesive and not just a barrage of random thoughts. I have also included a Search field in the top right corner if there is a particular subject or post you want to read.
Bringing It All Together: Narrowing the Focus
I enjoy exploring topics that are conventionally at odds with each other: Christianity, Science and Art. This combination is hard for most people to assimilate. I understand that.
I am extremely difficult to sell as a whole package. The world is shifting to extremes and I am a creative, open-minded moderate politically. Who also believes in Christ.
I have made a few other decisions which I’ll share at a later time if they work out. One is starting another private blog to delve into these themes and narratives for the book and organize them. I won’t be making this public until I’ve finished writing the book anyway.
I have written the first draft. Now I have to begin the hard work: finding the voice of the thing and rewriting it a second time. This is not going to be easy.
We must stay curious and adventurous, learning all we can in this journey of life. Be well beautiful people~
Super tree structures, in Singapore’s Tree Grove garden
“We may think of nature as being unconnected to our urban spaces. But trees have always been an essential part of successful cities.”
Why Cities Need Trees, TEDEd shortdoc
God’s Ideas Work
The idea of letting things function as intended – how God created them to function – has become a point of political contention. It should instead be celebrated for the pure wisdom that it is. As the population of the earth grows, we need to put more thought in how we develop our environment around us. Culture always leans more to profit than to sustainability. I think there’s room for both.
History has many lessons to teach us – we just aren’t listening. We aren’t paying attention.
Below is a great little video about how important it is for communities to work in harmony with nature to create the best possible outcome for us and for our environment. And coming from me, I can assure you, that is no political statement.
I believe God, who created everything, knows exactly how to balance the earth and all her complex inner-workings, even after all the destruction humans have caused. So why don’t we let nature do her thing so we can all live happier lives while we are here? Is it greed? Is it lack of foresight? We have plenty of history to guide us in more fruitful directions. Perhaps it is the need for gain that leads us to destroy nature for profit.
Money is not the nature of evil. So much good can be done with money. It is the LOVE of money that is the nature of evil. This mentality is one that will destroy all just for financial gain or power.
Singapore’s Tree Grove
I pray we don’t become like Easter Island, or Uruk as mentioned below, or any people who thought nature was only for personal profit and not respect it as the brilliant idea God intended it to be.
To have nature work for us, and thereby profit us without destroying it, just seems like the best idea to me.
Instead we pave over everything, build over everything and we don’t do it in sustainable ways. For instance, Singapore has constructed manmade tree terraces, if you will, but they serve a ‘green’ purpose by acting as solar power energy and also allowing nature to grow up the structures, thus providing a cooler shade than brick and concrete buildings. Not to mention they take it further as a practice in sustainability.
I wish that the topic of nature hadn’t become so politicized. (Everything it seems has become politicized.) How admirable to see when thoughtful people actually do something for the greater good of everyone; using nature to give back to the people in a community instead of hijacking an opportunity to line one’s own pockets. Generosity – it’s rare nowadays.
Most of the time we only see huge companies taking advantage of what should be something communal and beneficial, and instead turning it for a profit – pitching the idea like it was for the people to begin with: here’s this great thing for you, ladies and gentleman, and it will only cost you $$$ out of pocket whenever you want to enjoy it. What a deal!
Let’s be honest, most of the time only those with money can enjoy it.
But those few who do it for all, including the less fortunate; the ideas that are all inclusive for the benefit of the community and the environment…well…it doesn’t get more admirable than that.
Nature is a gift that will keep giving back in positive, beneficial ways.
National and Public Community Parks
One of the few places anyone could go and find solace in the year 2020 were parks. Albeit, even they were closed for a couple of months. Not being able to get out into nature was hard on the soul. Everything is connected and we are much healthier as individuals when we have access to nature. There’s something to be said for experiencing wide open spaces, starry skies and the sounds and smells of nature. Not to mention the therapeutic qualities of water in any form: rivers, streams, oceans…
Manmade is just a subpar trinket compared to God-made brilliance.
That’s why developing in these protected areas makes me nervous and of course, sad. Look what happened with Pigeon Forge in Tennessee. Now the same is being developed in the Red River Gorge in Kentucky. The jobs it provides will be good income for struggling families, yes. But these people could move to another part of the state. Couldn’t they? Where do we draw the line on destroying nature to provide profit?
I think that being conscious of our impact on nature is simply good stewardship of all that God has given us to enjoy.
Anytime we can correct our mistakes as a society; turn our overdeveloped, manmade, unsustainable ideas back to nature, back to trees and gardens and open skies, we can only expect that nature will return a gift back to us in the form of increased health, happiness and greater connectedness overall.
During my unplugged week I read Moby Dick by Herman Melville. It was a fascination – like experiencing a bizarre traveling circus that only appears after midnight.
The whole book filled me with sadness. I’m reading it with 170 additional years of history and knowledge and I think; the suffering we inflicted on entire species of whales in the name of profit and indulgence. And then I think, in what ways are we doing the same thing now in 2021? How about plastics and oil for starters…
I never formally studied this book so I have no preconceived scholarly analysis. The endless exposition that was a mix of fact and speculation was just boring. I have to attribute my attitude to that 170 year chasm. I wouldn’t have been any wiser at the time.
I’m too sensitive when it comes to animals to ever be able to admire Moby Dick and appreciate the story. All I could think about was how wrong humankind was about the nature of whales and God…how wrong we still are in some cases.
A Leviathan?
Leviathan was not a whale. The peaceful, curious nature of whales was all I could think about when reading how Melville described the beast Captain Ahab hunted – and I couldn’t separate the author from the ruthless nature of the Captain.
Below is the Sperm whale (wholly misnamed out of ignorance); and the demon, the monster, the man-killing beast from hell, the Leviathan that Melville described…and this was all I could think about while reading Moby Dick:
The Light Bulb – the Bright Idea seekers
The whale population was being decimated. In 1835 the first constant electric light was demonstrated. It took 44 more years of scientists tinkering with the bulb device before a usable one was created in 1879. Thank God someone was striving for a better way. Reminds me of electric cars and Elon Musk. Reminds me of anyone launching out against the flow in pursuit of a better world.
But humankind continued hunting whales for profit, some countries even now continue. (Sometime in the year 2100, But humankind continued using gasoline and oil for cars….)
I really can’t enjoy this book. I know it was about revenge; I know it was about deeper symbolic references of man and their madness to dominate. It didn’t move me. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to. Maybe Herman just wanted to incite me, end of story.
Some Decent Prose When Not Choked by the Exposition
There were only one or two portions that gripped me and really pulled me onto the deck of the ship, in all her fiery madness. Here is one of them:
“…darkness was licked up by the fierce flames, which at
intervals forked forth from the sooty flues, and illuminated
every lofty rope in the rigging, as with the famed Greek fire.
The burning ship drove on, as if remorselessly commissioned
to some vengeful deed. So the pitch and sulphur-freighted brigs
of the bold Hydriote, Canaris, issuing from their midnight harbors,
with broad sheets of flame for sails, bore down upon
the Turkish frigates, and folded them in conflagrations.
“…as their uncivilized laughter
forked upwards out of them, like the flames from the furnace;
as to and fro, in their front, the harpooneers wildly gesticulated
with their huge pronged forks and dippers; as the wind howled on,
and the sea leaped, and the ship groaned and dived, and yet steadfastly
shot her red hell further and further into the blackness of the sea
and the night, and scornfully champed the white bone in her mouth,
and viciously spat round her on all sides; then the rushing Pequod,
freighted with savages, and laden with fire, and burning a corpse,
and plunging into that blackness of darkness, seemed the material
counterpart of her monomaniac commander’s soul. So seemed it to me, as I stood at her helm, and for long
hours silently guided the way of this fire-ship on the sea.”
-Excerpt, pg 398 Moby Dick
In Conclusion
This book could be 200 pages; better yet, a short story. The overindulgent exposition and the fact that it was a true horror story of the slaughter of such a beautiful, peaceful animal, killed my soul and any hint of enjoyment for me.
One more extraordinary clip of the beautiful cachalot, it’s accurate name…enjoy
Stay safe beautiful people, stay extraordinary – even if the world would rather you not be~
This is a challenging post to write because in my mind it’s arranged in varying compartments, seemingly unrelated, but which are intricately intertwined (I believe). It’s practical issues interlaced with spiritual influences and current events.
It may even be part prophesy. It’s easy for me to draw the bigger picture in my mind. Not so easy to clarify it enough to relay that information to others.
But I’m going to try, or at least start to write these things out. Maybe in writing I can hone in on the clarity of the thing.
Writing posts can take anywhere from 15 minutes to hours – just one post. This is why I don’t post everyday 🙂 So here we go, let’s get into this.
Here are the varying compartments I’m going to try and relate to you and tie them together. I’m mainly focusing on California but attempting to clarify that this will begin affecting all of the Untied States:
-Large companies moving out of California
-Employees of these big tech companies, now working from home, can move and live in any state they wish to live, bringing their California incomes to small town U.S.A. economies.
-Loss of jobs or inability to keep up with higher incomes squeezing the middle class and how this ties in with the introduction of more automated, A.I driven technologies replacing the jobs of many Americans.
-Threat of continued drought, wildfires and earthquakes along the west coast.
-Middle-class being squeezed out of the housing market and pushed into homelessness.
-People leaving San Fransisco and larger cities due to crime, lack of police patrol and decreasing quality of life.
California and her woes
After watching a newscast online about the mass exodus of California, specifically businesses and corpse-porations that are leaving and heading for greener (less financially and legally stringent) pastures, their employees are also moving. Only they no longer have to move with the company – because now, everything is transitioning to online work-from-home locality.
Covid moved this thinking forward in exponential ways – quick insight, exponential is going to be the track of the future for all events.
So the entire world is changing. Now, only states close to the west coast near California are feeling the pain, like Idaho for instance. Sleepy towns that don’t have larger booming economies with sky-high incomes.
Along comes a higher paid, big city worker. S/he makes $500,000 a year which would be the equivalent to a lesser Idaho income in terms of location…..but the Silicon Valley worker no longer lives in CA. They are bringing their $500K income to a small town economy.
How could I possibly compete income-wise with someone who is bringing their big city income to my low cost-of-living state? Income is based on where you live, not necessarily the position you hold.
Do you see where I’m going?
Now, the same size house in Idaho that may go for $400K is being bid up by the big income, big city worker to $700K. Because the same position held by someone in Idaho pays less – it’s location relative. That’s an immediate out-of-price-range checkmate for the resident of Idaho working in the same exact industry.
So then, less inventory, less income, less options….
Homelessness
I advocate for those who are homeless; to assist them in any way we can. They are human beings who have needs and have suffered heartache, loss and many have mental illnesses. When you are desperate, feel abandoned by society and having nothing else to lose, you can do desperate things.
We’re used to attributing certain characteristics with those who are homeless. But no more. Even the middle-class is suffering homelessness in California. It has become a societal (economic?) epidemic. Those who should be living a well-to-do life are struggling, living in their cars and trying to manage their jobs and families.
There are so many issues being ignored by government, communities and people in general. Here’s an excerpt and a clip from the NY Post concerning the issues with ignoring and not dealing with the growing problem of homelessness:
“It’s just a very dangerous time to be a Venice resident right now.” Violent robberies in the neighborhood have jumped by 177 percent and the number of cases of assault with a deadly weapon involving a homeless person have spiked by 162 percent, according to LAPD stats the council shared with Fox News.
The world is being set on fire. And it’s burning in ways we may not be prepared to navigate. People need to raise their eyes from the current petty arguments and understand what’s really beginning to happen out there in the world.
Look what happened with Detroit. Now natural disasters like fire and flood are also working on the state of California along with corpse-porations moving out of state and letting loose the chains on their employees, allowing them to work from anywhere in the U.S.
Do you ever wonder if all the natural, social and political disasters in California are a warning sign? Maybe there’s a reason to consider leaving whereas if everything were good, more people would still be living there? It’s a strange way of thinking, I know, but it seems like a warning signal going off.
I attribute this way of thinking to sensational Hollywood movies as well as legit intuition and news stories.
Remember the people who worked in the Twin Towers that said they went out for a donut or were late to work for the first time ever on 9/11? That’s the foreshadowing I’m picking up on with California.
Earthquakes, fires and drought. Unbelievably high house prices, economic unrest, social and political unrest. It’s never-ending.
Enter, Artificial Intelligence and Friendly Robots
The whole world is going through a shift. And it’s accelerating at a much faster pace in our modern times than it ever did before. These next 10 years the shift will be significant and likely affect every person on earth. It’s one of the many reasons I chose to leave a career in a major industry and work to secure my future against the changing times.
I can only pray it works.
I believe that within the next 10 years we are going to see a substantial loss in the workforce. The positions just won’t be needed. It’s already happening but it will accelerate into the 2030’s. Many jobs will be rendered obsolete. So many customer service oriented jobs will be lost. Only the older generations still look to that one-on-one, in-person transaction.
All the younger generations trust the online network of human(less) e-commerce.
You think robots can’t take over nursing positions in hospitals? Shopping clerks? Bank tellers? How about school cafeteria workers and assistants? These will fall to the ever increasingly sophisticated robotic creations.
Give the big thinkers in technology enough time and money and they will advance A.I. to that point. And so much more. I fear so many people have no clue what’s really happening behind the scenes with these technologies. I’ve listened to fascinating interviews with these brilliant people who themselves will tell you, they are working against the ticking clock of government regulations.
For now the waters seem calm, so furiously they stretch the bounds of morality and perhaps their own conscience in the burning pursuit of making history – these people have soaring egos and not much consideration for life. One American who is working in China with these extreme technologies said on camera, in an interview (I’ll not forget it): “Can robots one day kill all of the human race? Yep! Am I still going to work to advance artificial intelligence? Yep!”
I was furious on the inside. Stubborn, prideful and selfish….Absolutely no regard for other people (oh, I’m sorry, are you thinking ‘Ashley, really, this is so preposterous it’s not worth getting upset about it.’
You, my friend, have no idea…remember the silent rising of nuclear weapons? “I am become death, destroyer of worlds”….
In Pursuit of Glory (lots and lots of money) No Matter the Human Cost
Why are we as humans always in pursuit of those things which can destroy this earth and ultimately ourselves! I can’t deal with some people…those specifically who have the power to make vastly destructive decisions without ANYONE being able to control them or what they want to do.
You think the majority of peoples on this earth would have approved of the atom bomb? These leaders held a private conference, along with the former President Harry Truman before the first bomb was ever detonated and said they thought it was a possibility that the detonation could catch the earth’s atmosphere on fire. The final decision?
Drop the bomb any way.
Listen, God lays the ground rules. Robots will never wipe out the human race because God’s Word reigns above every other word. But humans are trying to make technology that can do just that. And we as people, societies, communities, states, countries, nations, government bodies will have to deal with this.
Pssst, remember, all things on earth are flowing towards the One World Government over all peoples of the earth.
I can’t get into it here, but a one world government will solve so many problems and be so beneficial to all at first – truly – but it is the leader and the system of that government body who will be evil, and this is why no Tower of Babel will ever be erected before God, in place of God and without God.
And let’s not forget that money rules everything in the world system. These hierarchies don’t care about individual people. I mean look at how “Wall Street”, a.k.a corpse-porations, a.k.a., malevolent cowards… are buying up real estate properties out from under Americans. Look at how we ‘rent’ everything instead of buying it once which builds wealth. Microsoft office is paid on an annual basis, that’s one of thousands of examples.
Cars are going the same way. There will be no more purchasing of automobiles. Vehicles will all be electric and autonomous. You will buy a pass, or a card, or a monthly subscription (and if you want only luxury cars to ride in, then you pay the premium monthly cost for it, economy class only $29.99/month) and through your phone, you will summons the vehicle to your location.
That is, if you’ve managed to be one of the few demographics who don’t end up homeless…
I digress…
Corpse-porations and their utter disregard for human beings
Big companies are making the money and will own all the vehicles and all the real estate, and will charge us a fee to utilize their inventory. Cars will likely be illegal to drive on public roads at some point in the future.
If you want to actually drive or race cars or take a joy ride, there will be places setup around the U.S. where you can vacation and do so. Car enthusiasts will throw loads of money toward that.
But then eventually, 2070 or 2100, no one will want to drive anymore. It will be a history that is long forgotten with a generation and possibly referenced in school books where kids will laugh and say, ‘Yeah, my great grandpa used to have one of those things!”
From noon last Wednesday until noon this Wednesday I spent an entire week not utilizing the internet. It was an eye-opening foray into the dark murky waters of-
>Eminent boredom and time stretching into an infinite blackhole<
My trepidation was a bit melodramatic but the anxiety was real.
In the wee hours of the first morning I sat down with my coffee on the couch and instead of reaching for my laptop I just sat there staring at the table. I had put my laptop in a drawer out of sight. I opened my notebook/scheduler and my bible and started reading, praying and meditating on a few verses God had impressed on my heart for this year.
I seriously had an anxious outlook on this whole unplugged thing. It’s hard to express it in words – perhaps you should try it yourself to see what I mean – it’s a habit or addiction almost. Something about the internet and the year 2020 has ingrained in us this idea of being cutoff with only social media to keep everyone together. Quarantine and lockdowns exacerbated this feeling.
Whatever it was, I knew I had to break that habit if for no other reason than because it is a false belief.
I went about my day as usual; workout, walking, swimming, cleaning and working: just a normal day. But every time I’d sit down or relax I’d catch myself wanting my laptop. Pretty sure it was the feeling of withdrawal I was experiencing, haha!
So, I got into a huge book. None other than Moby Dick. I mean, seriously. Of all things that could curb my internet withdrawals. But sure enough, it was the perfect book. Off on a great seafaring journey I went. Read the whole thing. (No, no, that’s a lie. I skipped the pretentious, ever-rambling expositions). And I now know more about the insides of a whale and the whaling industry of the 1850’s than I ever wanted to know.
I might write a blog post of what I think about this book in the future.
Anyway, on the third day something interesting started happening. The desire to get on the internet faded into the background and I settled into my immediate surroundings. I started going through some boxes in the closets and realized I had two aquariums purchased back in 2018 that I had yet to setup. A small 5 gallon and a larger 40 gallon.
All the equipment and most of the accessories were there. It was a treat really. Since I’ve been working from home and endeavoring to change my career, I haven’t had the luxury of shopping. I enjoy shopping. But I’m on a mission this year, so thrifty is the name of the game at present. Opening up everything which I had put away almost 3 years ago was fun and therapeutic in a way.
Not to mention I now had another project to add to my unplugged week: what type of aquariums do I want to setup! I love planted aquariums, biotopes, little interesting and extraordinary fishes 🙂 Fish-keeping isn’t guppies and mollies and goldfish. That’s kid’s play. Fish-keeping is dwarf pea puffers and shell dwellers and honey gourami. Fish with personalities and adorable quirks. It’s cichlid tanks, blackwater biotopes and lush jungle tanks.
#GOALS…
So now all things were good! I had projects – I always need projects. Something to think about and challenge myself with. The internet was floating somewhere under the dark waters Captain Ahab was sailing through, keeping company with the Great White Whale lost in the darkness.
I can read and study forever. And the internet is full of any and everything a curious mind could get into. It’s the easy fix. And I’ve found it can be a big distraction from other interesting projects.
Let me not make light of my time in the word of God and the peace I experienced giving Him more of my time, at the very beginning of the day as opposed to just sinking into the billion dots on the screen.
I’ve decided on some rearranging in the house that I’ve been mulling over for months. A little unplugged clarity and I arrived at the solution – where to house the aquariums, what furniture needed to be moved, moved out or donated – and after my week unplugged I feel I’ve been through a cleansing and refreshing. The internet has been an excuse to delay things.
I highly recommend going unplugged for a week. I kept email going of course; I have to work and get back with people. I don’t want to miss opportunities but I think anyone can do without all the social media sites for a week.
I’m thinking of going unplugged for a week every month. Maybe not the entire internet – I will need it for my work. But Twitter, FB, etc can take a backburner far more often. Think about how many times we check our phones….
I have a ton of blog post ideas too – so much to talk about – diets, swimming, health, food….
Several of which will have to be about aquariums 🙂
“No, you may not do evil so that good may come from it.” ~Fulton J Sheen
If a decision you made was good, moral and ethical, then you made the right decision. If anyone ever asks you to do something that is contrary to integrity and uprightness (no matter who they are) and you refuse to back down because you know it would be the wrong thing to do, then at the risk of losing them, you have done the right thing.
People’s expectations are not your responsibility. It’s not your fault you may not ‘live up to’ someone else’s expectations of you. When your life belongs to God, you live it for Him to the best of your ability. Doing the good and just thing is admirable. Seeking fairness and justice are esteemed qualities which balances out those that would seek only to benefit themselves in this world.
There are already too many suffering at the hand of greed and selfishness.
If anyone expects you to do something contrary to your convictions and what you know to be right and honorable, then you must hold fast to your conventions. At the end of the day, people must deal with their own losses and ill-intentioned ambitions when they fall through.
