Wrestling With Desire: God Can Help Us Connect With Each Other In Healthy Ways

On By Ashley GatewoodIn Love:: Lifestyle:: HealthLeave a comment

Follow this reasoning, ‘get behind me Satan because your mind is not set on the things of God.” What’s the issue of the Cross here?….Jesus brought up the Cross and Peter rebuked Him because it upset their plans, and then Jesus goes right towards the mind, He goes right to the way of thinking. He says ‘your mind is set on the things of man and not the things of God”….Humanity without Christ as the center is demonic in nature.

Bill Johnson

Some Thoughts on Desire and Ways to Handle It

I spent around two hours this morning writing my thoughts on a YouTube video about desire and the problems associated with it as Christians. Instead of it falling into obscurity, I thought I’d flesh it out here in case it may help someone. Only Jesus understands the ferocious battles of desire we have slain and been slain by; the tears we cry and the wrestling we endure to gain victory over the carnal mind.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.

Psalm 56.8

Desire Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

Desire can be annoying when we can’t have what we want, but it also can be a signal that something necessary is missing in our life; like what some people experience when they crave ashes because they are lacking some mineral in their body. We aren’t careful enough with desire, to slow down and really listen to it.

The Israelites experienced God’s punishment in the desert for complaining about not having anything but manna to eat, no meat, no vegetables. God sent them quail and with it, a plague.

But while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consumed, the anger of the Lord burned against the people, and he struck them with a severe plague.

Numbers 11.33

Personally, I believe that it wasn’t Israel’s desire for meat that was punished. It was the complaining which was born out of ruminating or lusting after the thing which then led to punishment. When craving is what the heart is founded upon, it leads to error. Sometimes we are spoiled, complaining brats in need of correction. Other times we really aren’t understanding what the word means when He says, “I come so that you may have life, and that more abundantly.” 

I wonder why the Israelites didn’t just ask God for meat? Maybe they were still too young in their experiences with God – the spiritual teenage years are so maddening.

One Key To Handling Desire Is Putting God First

I’ve been practicing putting God and the kingdom of God first, then all else will be added to my life at the appropriate time. This is proper order and balance. If you have a desire for something, pray for it and leave it at God’s feet. Easier said than done but one can avoid entering into discontentment, then craving, then sin.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Matthew 6.33

I’ve learned in all my years to approach abundance as ‘lacking nothing’, or lacking no good thing. Anything over and above I do my best to manage it responsibly and be extravagantly generous with it. This evens out my own temperament and proclivity to be an asshole. 

It’s a matter of the heart because many situations having to do with gratefulness are relative. My cousin is a successful psychotherapist in NY, he founded the Walk and Talk therapy in Central Park back in the nineties. Some of his clients are top 1%. Their problems have to do with managing anger because ‘Fred’ docked his yacht in their prime spot…the bastard. And this is an issue for this particular individual in his demographic. But how many times have I been annoyed (as if I deserved a thing) that I didn’t get to eat at the restaurant I wanted because there were no reservations left or they forgot to write my name in? 

And somewhere there’s a woman who gets only one cup of porridge a day to survive on and no clean water to drink.

Experiencing Desire Can Help Us Be More Grateful

Desire is all about the intent of the heart. Having the desire is not the issue; it informs us perhaps of what we are lacking and need. However, cultivating a life of desire leads to greed and this can destroy our relationships, including and most importantly our relationship with God.

 After experiencing several situations in my life, one including serving two years of missions work on a tiny island in the Pacific Ocean, I understand what Paul says to some small degree:

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4.12

I can say once I got back to the States, ten years on, I’m always grateful for easy access to any kind of food (or a/c, or water) I could possibly crave. We only crave what we cannot have or are unwilling to pay the price to obtain (and this is a difficult situation when the price to be paid for that which we desire is a cost too great to bear). Otherwise, we’d just figure a way to have it. And it’s in the familiarity, the ‘taking for granted’ that we lose respect and gratefulness for what we have. 

Here’s another post I wrote on sexual desire within relationships; it’s best experienced within the union of marriage, otherwise, it could burn our entire lives down:

A Seal Upon Your Heart

And what about when it’s the people around us who are changing but we aren’t keeping up? The motives and intentions of the heart can be deceiving. We want the best for loved ones but then we find ourselves ungrateful (or complaining) that we don’t experience the same.

Learn To Pray For The Things You Desire, It Will Bring Balance

And then sometimes, we have to let go in order to gain…balance, you know? And Paul’s sentiment is good for anytime in our lives, it really is about balance and contentment in any and all circumstances we find ourselves in and trusting God to fulfill the desires of our heart in due time. 

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37.4

Our desires aren’t all bad – sometimes God will put that desire in us so that we might pray and bring it to fruition. Maybe like a spinoff of Cain and Abel: the desire is produced but instead of offering it to God so that He may bless it and it become a blessing to us, we run with it and keep it for ourselves in which case it becomes putrid and makes us sick. Other times we aren’t ready for what we desire and we’d only lose it because the proper foundation to sustain that thing hasn’t been solidified. Especially if we haven’t learned how to keep God in the top place. To be caught off guard complaining and highly satiated – we’ll end up sick. Gratefulness is a soothing medication. 

God Is A Rewarder Of Those Who Diligently Seek Him; Remember All That He Has Done

And let us never forget! Call into remembrance all that He has given when we didn’t deserve it; and that God is a great rewarder for faithfulness on our part. Job received double for all his difficulties at the end of the day. Joshua and Caleb were the only two who saw the Promised Land due to remaining faithful when all others were faithless.  He’s so generous in fact that He causes us to reap pressed down, shaken together and running over. I do not apologize for these blessing of abundance on my life, because I understand the cost to me and to Christ! And this cultivates a heart of thankfulness and gratefulness.

Featured Image by Gaspar Uhas.

The Cradle of Storms

On By Ashley GatewoodIn Bread & Butter MorselsLeave a comment

Warming My Bones

At year’s end 2021, I was doing a good job keeping my unfocused, creative self in a good routine, being productive writing, painting and capturing a few good creative opportunities. I had a good support system of family and friends, so although Covid restrictions – and later complete tyranny – was a formidable headwind both physically and emotionally, I was holding the balance of work-life flow nicely. I’ve not been as comfortable and at peace with my life as I was throughout 2021. It was amazing.

Things were going so well, I was content and warm snuggled up at my writing desk without a care in the world, day after day throughout 2021. Only be creative and work hard at it, the rest will fall into place, I told myself. My communion with the Lord in prayer dwindled. Meanwhile, the world outside was blowing up a multitude of storms in opposition to everything I considered myself to be and the values I hold dear. I saw it raging outside my window, gathering in strength and area of effect, but decided to ignore it.

I kept thinking, this covid mess will pass soon enough, just keep your head down and work.

But by this time, it was already too late.

I Should Have Known Better

Daily I take time to listen to the word of God. I break bread with a select group of ministers. This has always been an anchor for me – indeed for all of us who are the Body of Christ. But we can’t neglect prayer and reading God’s word, and I grew increasingly relaxed about both. The flesh can get stubbornly rebellious when it comes to prayer putting forth every kind of excuse not to yield to the flow of the Spirit.

It is the presence of God which brings us power, peace and strength. True, we can find these three things in our close relationships but there is no substitute for His power, His peace and His strength in our lives. Time spent with God in His word and in prayer is a matter of life and death to those of us born into the kingdom of God. We can’t expect to live a victorious life without spending time with the One who conquered it all. We’re not of this worldly kingdom, but of the kingdom of God.

“When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left Him until an opportune time.” Luke 4.13

Christians are the devil’s top priority when it comes to attacks. God will never forsake us, but the less prepared we are, the more it hurts when those fiery darts are aimed and shot into our lives by the wicked one. The more in God’s presence, the more anointed, the more in communion with the Holy Spirit we are, the less we are affected by all the wiles of the devil.

“Put on the panoply of God, that ye may be able to stand against the artifices of the devil.” Ephesians 6.11

A Perfect Storm

We’ve all experienced loss. I’ve experienced three different types of loss in the past eight years. The first was a vision I based my entire potential ministry plans upon. I learned my lesson and it is this: never follow your own vision in hopes that God will bless it. You will struggle the whole way and eventually lose it. Stick with God’s vision for your life – it far exceeds anything we can dream up on our own. Even though His vision starts out small, it’s the right choice no matter how big the other opportunities may be. Choose God first, the rest will fall into place and you’ll forego buying the bill of goods the wicked one peddles.

The other losses were of people, one of those being my Dad. I was already struggling with what seemed to be a quiet but abiding sadness which I couldn’t shake as the summer of 2022 approached. I had organized all my research for the book and written the first rough draft. So many things were going right I couldn’t figure out how I was so down.

Upon reflection, it was a combination of all those storms of life and disruption of routine, strange government overreach that left me feeling unprotected, frenzied online mob persecution over masks and vaccinations, all the unrest in the world during this time, and finally the loss of my father in the summer of 2022. This perfect cradle of storms were too much for me to continue forward having no garments of prayer wrapped around me to protect me. The devil sought an opportunity, found it and came in like a flood.

I sank. Into nothingness.

My Own Personal Island of Fogs

Suddenly on top of all the strange sadness came every responsibility that my father was undertaking; it all fell to me. It was in good working order, he was smart, and all was streamlined and uncomplicated. But it was all new to me, suddenly new people to deal with, new circumstances to manage, and all with the awareness of the absence of him no longer in my life.

In addition to an already stressful situation, there are always those few who tilt toward malevolence; nosey, cruel, vindictive and manipulative. I was thrown into a pit of vipers and unknowns without a stitch of spiritual armor to cover me. And filled with grief from all the loss.

The clock struck and my writing was defenestrated for an indeterminant amount of time. Everything I did seemed to include a wave of subtle sadness during this period, including the gathering up of my pages of notes and scribbles and drafts of the book I was writing. All the documents from my dad’s passing, all the mail, all the papers and items were slowly taking over my work desk area.

Paralyzed in the Swamp

I remember stacking the chapters of beloved characters and worlds that had brought me such joy together in a pile and placing them in the back room on the self. The sadness of putting the book aside wrapped around me like a wet blanket. Some things are just a part of who you are and without them you are incomplete. In addition, I had no schedule and nothing to do, and no motivation to do it anyway. The only thing that spurred me awake was the drudgery of legal paperwork and sorting my late father’s affairs.

I felt like Artax in the Swamp of Sadness, and again like the boy Atreyu trying to pull myself up out of it…yeah, maybe that.

This is not where you want to find yourself.

Seriously Think Through Whatever You’ve Done Wrong and Change It

The good news now is, all the intruding documents and responsibilities and unknowns are being sorted, wrapped up and dealt with — the situation finally reached that Critical Mass I previously spoke of and can only deflate. The False Narrative my own government was using against me has been shown in the light along with all its fowl rotting guts being investigated and put to shame. (I’m exceedingly angry still.) And it won’t be long before the defenestrated writing project is back in its proper place: occupying my thoughts and the tips of my typing fingers. Taking one step at a time. The clouds are clearing. God is faithful.

He brought people with strong voices into my life during this season, were it not for these leaders, family and friends during the darkest hour I’ve yet to experience in my life as an American, I’d have surely gone under and not been able to recover myself. Thank God for bold men and women on the frontlines standing for truth and not backing down.

Feeling the Warmth of the Sun After the Storms

After brunch with some friends the other day, I picked up two science fiction novels at our local bookstore. They were an unexpected find. I also wasn’t expecting the excitement I felt about them – in that moment I knew I was returning to myself again, leaving the Island of Fogs behind.

The only thing more stupid than stupid is the same perpetual stupid. Thank God that He is always there to reach out His hand when we start sinking to impart wisdom and knowledge leading to a better path of action. Maybe next time I can be the hand that reaches out to help instead of being the one in need of it.

This time around, God comes first. This mistake will be corrected gladly. All other things will be added to our lives: books, connections, people, opportunities – without any doubt they will be added if God is placed first at the top of all, for the word declares it.

Put Him first, there really is no better way. The storms are already gathering in strength along the horizon. The time is short.

Pray while the sun is shining and while the rain is falling! Pray always.

Featured Image by Georgi Kalaydzhiev 

An Open Vision

On By Ashley GatewoodIn Visions and ProphecyLeave a comment

I keep having this open vision and I’m going to share it. I’ve experienced it for the past several years on and off, but lately it has become more defined and far more intense. The emotion and feeling I experience is deep and arresting.

My perspective of all the events in this vision is lower, as if holding a camera only a few inches above the ground. As it unfolds, I remain close to the ground in this expansive area which I can only say is the area around the Throne of God, His Court perhaps. In the far distance, through shrouds of glory clouds, is God’s Throne – it’s lit up glowing from within, an amalgamation of clouds swirling and folding continuously into itself, and light emanates from within with no particular point of origin, I can’t see shadows it’s just amazingly bright, open and delivers an intense sense of awe. The enormity of it, the scale is not describable, I am very far away and yet still, it sits towering upon the horizon line, an exceedingly great Presence.

Stretching out from each side of the Throne are two columns, one moving outward from the left side and one from the right side, comprising two rows of angels, rather stacked one on top of the other, but not standing on each other, just arranged in these two rows of glorious organic pillars towering upwards on either side of the Court from before the Throne – thousands of them side by side down the row on both sides of the Court – which creates this center expanse in the middle between them where I see millions of figures, people, so small in comparison to the scale of the throne that I can see no details about them and can hardly make out individual shapes- they are like a vast sea.

The angels on the very bottom are Cherubim, protectors of the anointing, these creatures are part lion part eagle, they are on all four legs, more animal in appearance but even they tower over the crowd gathered in the center. Their scale is huge. Arranged at the top, over the Cherubim is the continuous row of human like angels with expansive wings so long in span that each touches the next angle’s wings end to end, stretching out in perspective towards me the sight is overwhelming – getting larger in perspective as they reach me of course. These two rows are facing each other from either side of the Court, with the figures in the middle at ground level.

The top row of angels are holding banners, flags, huge colorful flags that they are moving with great effort and purpose, all in unison, thousands stretched out in these two perfectly aligned rows, on either side of the court all the way to the edge of the throne far in the distance through the clouds – all in this perspective from my ground’s eye view, towering over me. The sound of the flags whirling through the air is like thunder, they are enormous, the wind from their movement blows everything around them as the angels raise them in unison through the air in a sort of musical praise and dance – all straight up in unison and down with a powerful stroke to the left, then arching perfectly back up through the air over their heads – the glory of it is overwhelming, and they are at times twirling the flags as they move them. Each stroke takes many more seconds because of their size. I can only imagine I’m on the ground because I couldn’t possibly be standing up under the glory of it all. The glory of the Lamb of God, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, praise be to God forevermore.

There is a rumbling sound, low and arresting, as what appears like water gushes out from before the throne with tremendous power, yet it remains in perfect shape and control, low to the ground, I can’t quite get the scale on it but it is expansive and stretches out for miles and miles – moving in only one direction – from the throne down the court between the two columns of angles. When it reaches me I begin moving with it, looking at it, it’s forceful and unstoppable and exceedingly fast. It’s like a mix of water and light – symbolic of the Holy Spirit but it isn’t just water, I can’t exactly tell what it is but it moves like water and shimmers like light reflecting off of water – it also is moving with purpose, fast flowing outward and beyond the end of the row of angels. I flow with it for only a moment in time before I fall back from the front of the wave and I’m watching it roll on out into the vastness of light beyond me, everything behind it now covered and moving through it.

I can’t see where it’s going but I have no doubt it is destined for the earth and God’s people. A movement of God is on the way, I’m not sure how else to read this.

Some Insufficient Examples for Reference

For some kind of reference, I’ve done a few internet searches. Below is the best references I could find that describe to some paltry degree what I’m seeing – it’s nothing like what I’m seeing in the Spirit – but the perspective and scale is what I’m going for; each are about 100x more than what I could find and copy here. There is no justice that can be given to a vision from God – none.

Praise Jesus:)

The scale of the Cherubim at the bottom of each row of pillars, only in my vision x100. I could not find any, even insufficient examples of the humanlike angels with wings waving their banners in unison at the top of each pillar.

From my vantage point, below is an example of the receding perspective of the rows of angels extending from the Throne, on each side of the Court, one after the other, only they are perfect organic pillars of angels towering above the Court….not manmade pillars of stone.

And here is a more comprehensive view of the vantage point and perspective, again, nothing like the light and sound and glory of the vision, just an example of the vantage point and how the angelic pillars recede into the distance all the way to the Throne. Notice also how this is open, expanding into the sky and space around it – this is like the vision, nothing was enclosed in another structure, only open expanse around the Throne, like the blog’s featured image of clouds.

Featured Image by frank mckenna 

“Even so, come quickly Lord Jesus.”

Critical Mass

On By Ashley GatewoodIn Bread & Butter MorselsLeave a comment

Hence comes a point where nothing more can be managed or added to a situation, no unexpected surprise or additional responsibility because all that was going to crescendo has done so already. Now there is only the Falling Action, the decrescendo where each rung of the ladder is managed carefully and with increasing relief until solid ground is underfoot. That is, until the next Crescendo begins.

The worst, at least for this show, is over.

I’ve learned a few things, things I wish weren’t so, but they are. And I must deal with them.

So, I took a nice Sensory Tech Deprivation moment and began unraveling the gnarly knots. This will take a few posts.

The Covid knot.

The Loss knot. (Will write about later.)

The Shattered Routine or Chaos knot. (Later…)

The What in Hades is on Fire in Here knot.

The Piping Propagandists

All throughout 2021-22, the malevolent players were stitching their Scarlet Letters onto my person one propaganda spew after another. It was increasingly clear, my government was no longer a shelter for me. By consequence of going unvaxxed – and in no way was I going to be – I had become the stigmatized Inferior, stripped day by day of privileges which otherwise were my right as an American citizen. I not only read about the daily erosion of my rights, or witnessed it happening to others, or thought about it…no, I was experiencing it real time. No vax card? No entry. What I believed to be true about reality was crumbling and this new narrative world was closing in on me.

This did something to me, you see, the narrative always starts in the mind then it’s enacted. Take control of the narrative and you control the speed and direction of a thing. I’d liken my mental state during this time to the Precognitives in Minority Report who saw the crimes before they were committed. I sensed this to an alarming, jarring degree – call the after effects of it ptsd or something of the like, but it was unsettling, disquieting, and felt as if reality itself was crumbling beneath my feet. Everything I had ever known to be true and stable was absolutely upended and being destroyed within the context of the Covid and Woke narratives.

What made it worse was the censoring of all other voices like my own. So the isolation tactics were accurately wielded. Another blow to the constitution of reality and truth. Everything that is good is exactly opposite of what you believe to be truth! And alas it is YOU who are the Inferior menace to society, now go be vaccinated!

Just recently has all this come out and still these sinister forces fight, denying, obstructing and pushing a non-reality as if it were truth. Where were the critical thinkers? The truth-seekers?

Oh, right…censored. I wish I could better explain it, but I felt the greater, darker power of what was happening behind the facade. I’ve heard it put like this: it is a war against the Logos. This is perfect. It is the invisible war, the spirit of anti-Christ manifesting in the earth. The image behind the image. And its manifestation, concerning Covid, nearly prevailed. Though in other areas, it’s still devouring truth.

(I must confess: in God there is peace. I have to take responsibility for dropping my end of the relationship equation: Prayer. It’s the equivalent of not communicating with your partner and it’s not sustainable in any relationship. This communication, or time in prayer with God would have kept me grounded and unshakable. I missed the mark here.)

I have an uncanny ability to extrapolate seemingly innocuous behaviors and/or details into a complex future outcome. Sometimes I’m wrong, but when I’m not….

This is a pandemic of the Unvaccinated.

President of the United States of America, Joe Biden

For You, The Scarlet Letter! Filthy Unvaccinated Leper

Second rate citizen. That’s what I was, or so the narrative ran. From late 2020 until just the last few months until all the decaying rot that is Fauci’s little black heart puked itself up for the world to gawk and gaze upon. The wicked monster of deceit, that Shadow of Babel’s Tower, the U.S. Government under Biden et al., the WEF and the CDC were all working together with the mammon Ravenous Rat which jabbed its victims in the arms, injecting its teeth and devoured the health of many. May the light of its Rat life go out, like a spindle of inconsequential smoke from its eyes. And may those who danced like loosed, fiendish puppets around this false narrative trip up and entangle themselves in their own puppet strings….

You think I’m over-exaggerating, don’t you? But here’s what almost no one sees: the vaccine failed, but had it not, the false narrative would have manifested in full array, because there is something else going on.

Before our eyes we see the scales of truth are not weighted properly, but the sinister underlying narrative, that image within the image, speaks without moving its lips summoning full conviction that what is evil is good and what is good is evil and all things are equal. This goes far beyond only Covid, far deeper.

The persecution and stigmatization would have continued against those of us who refused to be coerced and I’ve no doubt, I would be in need of food at some drawn out point in the future as I would have no vaccination card to gain entry to pubic spaces. Eventually, they could make it illegal to be free if unvaccinated. Oh, the fever pitch of tyranny! The unvaxxed would have been refused medical support if needed because unlike ‘responsible’ citizens, they had no stamp on their vaccine cards. Social Credit scores are just around the corner.

Sometimes it’s no fun doing that extrapolating stuff….

“Vaccinated person having a heart attack? Yes, come right on in, we’ll take care of you. Unvaccinated guy who gobbled horse goo? Rest in peace, wheezy.”

Jimmy Kimmel

Don’t you know comedians ride and shift the winds of culture?

The cover up and lies were egregious, this article attempted to push back against the narrative but the sticky wickedness prevailed as the vaccine had yet to be exposed as a failure: Questioning A Catchphrase There is a divisive spirit, that anti-Christ spirit, pervasive and unrelenting. It forces unity by coercion and force. It is wicked.

Think of all the things we still wouldn’t know today had Twitter not changed captains – the ship of wickedness would still be sailing, censoring, devouring reality, building a chaotic dark tower. They were taking out some of the most out spoken and powerful voices for truth, one by one.

Shake It Off, There Are Important Things To Do

Now, after all the waves of horror have somewhat passed, being unvaccinated is like the Golden Unicorn of the Forest. But I remember those who danced, ready with self-righteous contempt in their eyes to stitch that Scarlet Letter into my flesh and shake their heads as the Monster moved closer…the fear and anxiety was all too real. And though I’m thankful that the tables have indeed turned to truth and a light has been shone on the whole rotting show, I can’t but accept that this was a Dress Rehearsal gone wrong. The costumes of the next Act are being laid out, the scenes being sketched before the curtain has even met end-to-end on Act I.

What am I going to do the next time something evil this way comes? Either I make a point to determine that now, or the powers that be will determine it for me.

Most of what you need in life will be brought to you, but most of what you want you’ll have to go get. Your survival is ensured, but for you to come into your destiny – that one will not be brought to you on a silver plater. There is a fight that must be gone through; one of persistence, one of diligence, one of knowing how to face loss, knowing how to bring strength and courage to yourself in the middle of confusion – those things are so essential in building us as [His] people in order to contain and continue to hold on to the very answer once we get it….The Lord has called us, like a David, who killed the lion and the bear when no one was watching…laying on our face before God when no one knows…crying to God that we cannot live with the theory and not seeing it demonstrated. It’s those kinds of nights where the lion and the bear get killed. And once you kill the lion and the bear in private God will trust you with killing Goliath in public.

Bill Johnson

You and I have things to do. As small and insignificant as these things may be, if God is asking us to do it, then out of love – not regarding any failure – we should do as He asks. If it’s writing a book no one reads, a blog no one visits, a song no one listens to…if God asks, because He loves us…we should do as He asks. He knows the future, He knows all things. Nothing God plants remains insignificant.

If you’ve picked a timeframe of evaluation that makes what you do appear irrelevant, then maybe you should shift your timeframe of evaluation.

Dr. Jordan Peterson

Everything has grown in importance – this present darkness grows – but the Light is shining more brightly than ever.

While it is daytime, we must do the works of Him who sent Me. Night is coming, when no one can work.

John 9.4

Living my life like nothing profoundly wicked has rapped upon the psyche of each and every one of us is too disingenuous. We’ve reached Critical Mass. We can only work to make this world a better place right now while it’s still daylight. Night is coming…so let’s build while we have light by which to work.

So they will fear the name of the Lord from the west and His glory from the rising of the sun. For He will come in like a narrow, rushing stream which the breath of the Lord drives long.

Isaiah 59.19

“Open Your Mouth And Eat What I Give You”

On By Ashley GatewoodIn Bread & Butter MorselsLeave a comment

That’s from Ezekiel 2.8. Let me not act like the prophecy below is just a guess. It’s terrifying. Mainly because one part has already come to pass and another seems to be in progress.

What else can be said? I have published it, tagged it private, published it again….hid the light under a bushel….the responsibility of prophecy can be cumbersome.

This prophetic word is underway: The Prophecy June 5, 2020

Nature Frees the Soul

On By Ashley GatewoodIn Love:: Lifestyle:: Health1 Comment

Headed south this past weekend with a friend to enjoy a break from the everyday mundane obligations of life. Stayed in a cabin built by the record breaking rock climber Hans Florines. It’s nestled in Muir Valley in Red River Gorge.

February turned Springlike here in Kentucky and we wandered out into nature to breathe the fresh mountain air and enjoy the found wonders.

Nature is visually tactile and unexpected. The softness and texture play off one another well.

The dampness, the smell of rich earth crumbling down over the leaves and the soft furriness of the moss pads growing through the decaying leaves is a tiny microcosm of solitude. The random complementary colors of green and red against each other was an especially enjoyable treat to behold.

Will be leaving for Florida soon. Traveling down to see first hand the devastation of Ian. I had a small place right in the eye of the storm but miraculously, it suffered little damage. Lost the Jeep, but that’s a small price to pay compared to what many lost, including loved ones. My father will be on my mind, he loved the place dearly. I miss him.

Did you notice the tiny red seed to the right of the golden rock? It’s as if they are aware of each other’s presence yet both seemingly frozen within a sea of green waves clapping between them. Maybe they’ll make their way to each other one day.

And maybe they won’t.

This fragile and spindly root is clinging tenaciously to a shattered piece of wood. There is a delightful airiness to its tiny root system. It’s not going to give up.

Sometimes the darker places give us a cool moment to be introspective and peaceful. A respite from all the clatter of daily life.

Until next time, all you beautiful people, go say hello to nature and free your soul for a time~

Answering the Call of God: Resolving Social Conundrums & Social Kindness Misgivings

On By Ashley GatewoodIn Bread & Butter MorselsLeave a comment

Have Your Say, Everyone Else Does

I’m not good at handling social persecution when it comes to some of my positions on the Word of God. I find them to be truth but no one has perhaps asked me for that. And truth hurts sometimes. I’ve been bold and given the word of truth in the past and received a good deal of backlash. I know that everyone has a viewpoint and good reasons for that viewpoint, and who am I to think I’m so right? And when individuals start pulling the sympathy card, I tend to fold, feel bad because what I’ve said directly affects them, their loved ones or people they know, and go away thinking how inconsiderate of their feelings I’ve been.

I’m also fiercely angry about the arrogance of the Church, Her greed and Her Pride. These are huge monsters (Arrogance, Pride and Greed) to stand in front of and to speak against with the corrective word of God.

Teaching and impartation is one thing when someone wants to find truth, I’ll give it directly. However, unrequested social media postings that directly hurt people’s feelings have been a problem that has kept me silent for several years now. I’ve kept silent, even to my own peril concerning things like Covid – which I am going to bring up from the depths at a later time – best to keep weaving the whip until my anger subsides a little more, for it is great.

Heed the Calling Over Your Life, Set Social Kindness Misgivings Aside

I have things to say. Things I know God has put on my heart. They are beautiful things, revelatory things, weightier matters of the heart and also….divisive. And this stops me when I see their faces wondering how I could say things so hurtful. But the road to hell is broad and what I don’t want to be is irresponsible for NOT holding up the sign saying ‘you’re going the wrong damn way.’

“Do not assume that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” Matthew 10.34

I can’t refute the Lord here. He said He give us, His children, peace (John 14.27). He does not say He brings peace to the world. The world is headed for a catastrophe, a prophetic judgement to end all previous dispensations. Will the world end? No, it will be made new,

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away..”  Revelation 21.1

And again,

“And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” 1 Corinthians 7.31

“The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.” 1 John 2.17

Ignoring the Obvious

But the world will end for many. And how will any of them survive if the word of God isn’t used to build a bridge that some can use to escape the flames of Hell? If no instruction is given on how to mind the gap between the highway to hell and narrow path of salvation? The vast expanse of that gap reaching to the endless abyss of death without Christ?

I always had this idea that being a peacemaker was the best course of action, and honestly, it has served me well and made many take a second look at Jesus and the Christian individual. We aren’t all the same. We have two year olds in our ranks having fits about everything, we have teenagers thinking they know everything, ‘kicking against the pricks’ to find some autonomy from this big ‘Father God’ in the sky and elders who think they have nothing else to learn. I know all of this well because I have been ALL of these stages, sometimes all at once and sometimes we all regress, right?

Hard Decisions, Ultimate Sacrifices

I have to decide, am I going to play the peacemaker…there is a place for that, absolutely. Or, am I going to bring the sword? The key is this: listening carefully to understand exactly what God is calling you, as the individual child, to do. Because as good as bringing the sword is and as much as we need it, you will fail if the calling and anointing isn’t bestowed upon you by God to do so.

I want to be the peacemaker. It’s easy and no one can accuse you of much. But this is not my calling.

I’m called to bring the sword.

Mistakes Inform the Individual, Though They Burn. Perpetual Darkness Consumes Entirely, Withering Away the Mind, Spirit and Body

And it scares me to death…mainly because I know and understand His power, and I don’t trust myself to adhere to the Lord enough to bring the destruction that is holy, that lays waste to what evil has planted, tills the fallow ground and plants the good. Instead I fear I’ll tear down what annoys me personally, because you can do that if you are undisciplined and unwilling to yield to His Lordship, ask Elisha:

2 Kings 2.23-24

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!”  He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.”

This is where faith is of key importance, faith in God to step out knowing He will be there to hold us up. What’s worse, making mistakes? Or living the rest of your life in the belly of the whale? Sometimes, though pounding on the inner lining of the behemoth’s belly gets you puked up with all manner of disgustingness, at least you can breath the air and go do what God has called you to do.

Time for a thorough washing~

just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a glorious church, without stain or wrinkle or any such blemish, but holy and blameless..

Ephesians 5.26

Featured Image by Herbert Mandel, oil on canvas 1984

A New Day

On By Ashley GatewoodIn Bread & Butter MorselsLeave a comment

The dawn of 2023 is upon us, all the inhabitants of the earth. Something new is riding on the air, an anointing to shift all things. God has been listening, and I sense He is going to show up like the still small voice after the raging storm. The world isn’t going to notice at first, they can’t discern the language spoken between Christ and His Bride. He’s nudging her to awaken from her slumber and it’s going to be an interesting year prophetically.

The power of music, the joy and expression of song. Let’s take a moment to admire the marvelous talents and gifts given only to humans. I love the playfulness here. He’s not afraid of the note, the score or the melody. He inspired me today. It’s my kind of happy introvert song too: leave me alone for a moment, come see me later if you want to, and know that I need you either way, darling…

“All At Sea” performed by Jacob Collier (live at Cambridge)

The Process of Unearthing

Rummaging through the art room I dug out the digital piano. (I told you I was inspired.) I found it nice and preserved. Back in 2019 I had the privilege of taking piano lessons. I learned a great deal. Then came notice of grand jury duty, every weekday eight hours a day for the entire month of December. That beast ate my schedule. I had to drop the lessons….then along came 2020 and suffice it to say, the pursuit was abandoned.

Finding a place for it will require moving out other things, a long chain-reaction process of buried parts of myself it would seem.

Random person: What do you do for a living?

Me: I’m an archeologist.

RP: Oh wow, where’s the excavation site?

Me: My life.

RP: …

Winter is a great season to clear things out and get organized during the cold winter months. I love snowy days, everything is quiet and peaceful. It’s symbolic of the dormant phase of nature where things die off, energy is conserved and I discard what I don’t need in order to prepare for the spring growth. April babies find great joy in this process. We just tend to get distracted during the growing phase and wander off somewhere else…

Looking onward into 2023 when something is enriching to the soul, when we are curious about it and we have the opportunity to explore it, then why not take it? We need to be less perfectionistic and more exploratory; have some fun, you know? Who knows how far we can go in our calling if we allow ourselves the freedom to play and have fun~

Might as well find out. Time is short.

Putting Those Things Behind Us and Pressing Forward into the New Day

2022 will soon come to a close. Let’s take the opportunity to ‘close out’ a few other things with it, shutting the door behind us as it goes. The defeats and losses can be laid to rest satisfactorily. Perhaps in the death of those seeds, life will spring up.

“Now unto Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think.”

Present your heart to God and watch Him anoint you with the fire of the Holy Spirit. The world will be changed, even if it’s quiet and simple in the beginning. Making a positive change in one person’s life changes everything for them for the rest of their life. It’s not a small thing.

“No eye has seen, and no ear has heard, nor has entered into the heart of man, what God has prepared for those who love Him.”

I hope this has encouraged you in some way. Have a beautiful New Year everyone, may God bless and prosper and keep you always~

Twilight of Summer Long Past

On By Ashley GatewoodIn Bread & Butter MorselsLeave a comment

I’m glad to see this summer pass on into the infinite past. It hasn’t been an easy one. It’s strange when circumstances become, all at once, tragic and blessed. It can be hard to reconcile two opposites with the same energy – each remain two entities traveling along parallel lines, absent of each other, with the silent burden of trying to reconcile.

Loss is hard to bear and I find myself lingering needlessly in survival mode, doing only the bare minimal to make it through. Except I’m already through it, Fall is heavily upon us and Winter soon approaching. How long am I going to linger here?

It’s not so easy to do a thing if necessity isn’t fueling the motivation. So I find myself just here. Wistful, processing; blessed with a great many roads to take, cursed with a great many roads to take….

Maybe it’s time to choose one path…but I hate the idea of losing all the other roads.

I hate the idea of loss.

I need to unfix my position on the map. Perhaps if the one path doesn’t satiate then I can find my way back through the woods…perhaps not. Either is better than just standing here. Right?

I know, I know, marriage would alleviate so many multiple movements forward, clear the peripheral to some extent and bring the benefit of ‘2 putting 10,000 to flight’, albeit, there is the complexity of the human being which then must be taken into account. Nevertheless, I feel the approach of one to share my life with drawing nearer. Whether he is before me on one of these paths or behind me moving at a quicker pace I cannot tell. Maybe I’ll hide as he passes me by–

God will lead the way forward, opening doors I didn’t know existed and closing all the peripheral distractions. He remains steadfast beyond the confusion of the season stirring within my soul.

I’ll find the path His light is illuminating and forsake all the rest. What credit would there be in following my own path and losing my life? So instead I’ll lose all my paths and gain His life. That’s a better proposition.

Featured Image by Ales Krivec

Novel Research Pinterest Page

On By Ashley GatewoodIn Bread & Butter MorselsLeave a comment

I have created a Novel Research Pinterest page for the science fiction novel I’m writing. This is a simple compilation of my thought process, research and scientific data consulted over the past several months.

It’s nothing fancy, I’m simply including links to articles or videos so that if anyone is interested in the direction and themes I’m exploring in this book, they can find them here.

The research categories are:

  • Physics Biology & Science General
  • Humans & Technology
  • Earth
  • Galaxies & Stars

Here is the Pinterest link:

@IlluminatedManuscript

I’ll be updating when I have the time, and dropping some excerpts over the next several weeks also. Hope everyone is enjoying the Summer weather. I feel I’m melting here on the eastern side of the u.s:)