Wrestling With Desire: God Can Help Us Connect With Each Other In Healthy Ways

Follow this reasoning, ‘get behind me Satan because your mind is not set on the things of God.” What’s the issue of the Cross here?….Jesus brought up the Cross and Peter rebuked Him because it upset their plans, and then Jesus goes right towards the mind, He goes right to the way of thinking. He says ‘your mind is set on the things of man and not the things of God”….Humanity without Christ as the center is demonic in nature.

Bill Johnson

Some Thoughts on Desire and Ways to Handle It

I spent around two hours this morning writing my thoughts on a YouTube video about desire and the problems associated with it as Christians. Instead of it falling into obscurity, I thought I’d flesh it out here in case it may help someone. Only Jesus understands the ferocious battles of desire we have slain and been slain by; the tears we cry and the wrestling we endure to gain victory over the carnal mind.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.

Psalm 56.8

Desire Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

Desire can be annoying when we can’t have what we want, but it also can be a signal that something necessary is missing in our life; like what some people experience when they crave ashes because they are lacking some mineral in their body. We aren’t careful enough with desire, to slow down and really listen to it.

The Israelites experienced God’s punishment in the desert for complaining about not having anything but manna to eat, no meat, no vegetables. God sent them quail and with it, a plague.

But while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consumed, the anger of the Lord burned against the people, and he struck them with a severe plague.

Numbers 11.33

Personally, I believe that it wasn’t Israel’s desire for meat that was punished. It was the complaining which was born out of ruminating or lusting after the thing which then led to punishment. When craving is what the heart is founded upon, it leads to error. Sometimes we are spoiled, complaining brats in need of correction. Other times we really aren’t understanding what the word means when He says, “I come so that you may have life, and that more abundantly.” 

I wonder why the Israelites didn’t just ask God for meat? Maybe they were still too young in their experiences with God – the spiritual teenage years are so maddening.

One Key To Handling Desire Is Putting God First

I’ve been practicing putting God and the kingdom of God first, then all else will be added to my life at the appropriate time. This is proper order and balance. If you have a desire for something, pray for it and leave it at God’s feet. Easier said than done but one can avoid entering into discontentment, then craving, then sin.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Matthew 6.33

I’ve learned in all my years to approach abundance as ‘lacking nothing’, or lacking no good thing. Anything over and above I do my best to manage it responsibly and be extravagantly generous with it. This evens out my own temperament and proclivity to be an asshole. 

It’s a matter of the heart because many situations having to do with gratefulness are relative. My cousin is a successful psychotherapist in NY, he founded the Walk and Talk therapy in Central Park back in the nineties. Some of his clients are top 1%. Their problems have to do with managing anger because ‘Fred’ docked his yacht in their prime spot…the bastard. And this is an issue for this particular individual in his demographic. But how many times have I been annoyed (as if I deserved a thing) that I didn’t get to eat at the restaurant I wanted because there were no reservations left or they forgot to write my name in? 

And somewhere there’s a woman who gets only one cup of porridge a day to survive on and no clean water to drink.

Experiencing Desire Can Help Us Be More Grateful

Desire is all about the intent of the heart. Having the desire is not the issue; it informs us perhaps of what we are lacking and need. However, cultivating a life of desire leads to greed and this can destroy our relationships, including and most importantly our relationship with God.

 After experiencing several situations in my life, one including serving two years of missions work on a tiny island in the Pacific Ocean, I understand what Paul says to some small degree:

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4.12

I can say once I got back to the States, ten years on, I’m always grateful for easy access to any kind of food (or a/c, or water) I could possibly crave. We only crave what we cannot have or are unwilling to pay the price to obtain (and this is a difficult situation when the price to be paid for that which we desire is a cost too great to bear). Otherwise, we’d just figure a way to have it. And it’s in the familiarity, the ‘taking for granted’ that we lose respect and gratefulness for what we have. 

Here’s another post I wrote on sexual desire within relationships; it’s best experienced within the union of marriage, otherwise, it could burn our entire lives down:

A Seal Upon Your Heart

And what about when it’s the people around us who are changing but we aren’t keeping up? The motives and intentions of the heart can be deceiving. We want the best for loved ones but then we find ourselves ungrateful (or complaining) that we don’t experience the same.

Learn To Pray For The Things You Desire, It Will Bring Balance

And then sometimes, we have to let go in order to gain…balance, you know? And Paul’s sentiment is good for anytime in our lives, it really is about balance and contentment in any and all circumstances we find ourselves in and trusting God to fulfill the desires of our heart in due time. 

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37.4

Our desires aren’t all bad – sometimes God will put that desire in us so that we might pray and bring it to fruition. Maybe like a spinoff of Cain and Abel: the desire is produced but instead of offering it to God so that He may bless it and it become a blessing to us, we run with it and keep it for ourselves in which case it becomes putrid and makes us sick. Other times we aren’t ready for what we desire and we’d only lose it because the proper foundation to sustain that thing hasn’t been solidified. Especially if we haven’t learned how to keep God in the top place. To be caught off guard complaining and highly satiated – we’ll end up sick. Gratefulness is a soothing medication. 

God Is A Rewarder Of Those Who Diligently Seek Him; Remember All That He Has Done

And let us never forget! Call into remembrance all that He has given when we didn’t deserve it; and that God is a great rewarder for faithfulness on our part. Job received double for all his difficulties at the end of the day. Joshua and Caleb were the only two who saw the Promised Land due to remaining faithful when all others were faithless.  He’s so generous in fact that He causes us to reap pressed down, shaken together and running over. I do not apologize for these blessing of abundance on my life, because I understand the cost to me and to Christ! And this cultivates a heart of thankfulness and gratefulness.

Featured Image by Gaspar Uhas.

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